The two companies announced today that they are forming “a long-term partnership to shape the future of the metaverse to make it safe and fun for children and families”. This includes making “an immersive, creatively inspiring and engaging digital experience for kids of all ages to enjoy together.” Muttering incoherently about how “the metaverse” is the future, the companies stated their desire “to ensure that this next iteration of the internet is designed from the outset with the wellbeing of kids in mind.” They did not say what it is they’re making or doing. Call me cynical, but I suspect they may actually doing some sort of Lego-themed online video game. That would be less revolutionary, considering in recent years we’ve had the MMO Lego Universe, Funcom’s MMO action-RPG Lego Minifigures Online, fantasy MMORPG Lego Legends Of Chima Online, the Minecraft-ish Lego Worlds, the mobile game Lego Life, and more. Lego Universe even employed moderators to screen every player-made building for potential plastic penises, after failing to create dong detection software. “The Lego Group has captivated the imagination of children and adults through creative play for nearly a century,” Epic CEO Tim Sweeney said, “and we are excited to come together to build a space in the metaverse that’s fun, entertaining, and made for kids and families.” Please stop saying metaverse. I would like to see Epic make a good and fancy Lego building game but you gotta stop saying metaverse. Still, given how much media is already recreated as Lego sets, this does dovetail with Epic’s apparent definition of “the metaverse”: an online video game where brands advertise to children. That image up top is just a Lego set, not any game.
